Being home after a journey is always so good. The peace that you bring back with you to a stable place is a peace I like and want to keep. VBS (Vacation Bible School) is on this week. I am a scribe in the marketplace in "ancient rome" and so far, so good. While I am tapping into my artistic side with india ink, canvas and wax, I have been thinking a lot.
Jamie and I had an amazing road trip to Illinois. I will remember that journey as one filled with laughter, prayer, freedom and love. Our soundtrack was basically Sufjan Stevens, Jon Foreman, Sara Groves, The New Pornographers, and Phil Wickham. We stopped a lot of places on the way there, such as Bryce Canyon, Yellowstone, and Mt Rushmore- most of the trip was the view. No one ever told me that lightening storms outside of CA are breathless! When we arrived in Aurora, our friends welcomed us to their home with grateful hearts and real love. The spent was so restful and good. Gd met us perfectly.
Thinking about my last days here in SD, they are bittersweet I think. I have so many people to see, so much to pack up, put away and clean. I will miss many many people. But I am also super excited that I get a chance to experience freedom, with the friend in Yeshua that I have.
I had lunch with Daniel, the youth pastor from my church and my friend. We have had some strained times lately and to sit and eat and be honest with one another was healthy. He fits in a definition somewhere between a brother and a father. You know the love for someone that is neither platonic or romantic. It is just a family love. I have that for Daniel. He is right though, I care too deeply about what I think he thinks of me.
Last night I had a long conversation with a friend who is going through a serious relationship decision. We talked. We listened. We prayed. It was the kind of community I look for among my people. What if I don't find that immediately in SF? What if my expectations turn out to be too high? I have decided that I don't want to get married or have kids. I am really enjoying my time with Gd. Just learning about who He had in mind when He made me. But then again, I do rely on the community of followers around me. Hmmm...I hope to read this when I am established in Sf.
Wrote this poem on the road:
He Humbled Himself
a seize of scripture and community fall apart,
a hope and piece of pain recover together,
whether breeze or heat explain the feeling,
a home is made "hey there Gd flesh"
I speak in waves, but I know there is more expected,
repeated truth to be had,
for He humbled Himself in history, in spirituality,
He begot Himself for half a lifetime,
so while I distress an angel a woman will walk up to me,
to my presence she will tell me of a power,
I cannot explain through the mind,
but praise the Spirit for its perfect causal of sanctification,
and my mentors are found in a different land,
this makes my own spirit swell with rest and implication,
that Gd flesh moved to die but lived to serve,
and my life, presently, to be lived to love and die,
like years past of praise and martyrdom,
I pray, dear friends, for renewal wisdom,
the one who is humbled then,
knows me plans, knows my fears,
His spirit for me cannot walk in that darkness
nor can I inhale the dark cares.
and so it is...
Jamie and I in front of the Billy Graham Museum in Wheaton, Illinois.
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