^Past years...
I feel like a majority of my posts are rather upsetting and depressing...
Well, here goes another rant. I am spending my first Passover in my new city alone. Great isn't it. Passover is one of my favorite holidays. It is the third most important commemoration in my religion. It is the story of freedom and salvation. It is a story of social justice. Trust in Gd and in leadership. It is about people obeying and disobeying and Gd redeeming His promise. It is about inclusiveness. Passover is about community.
Last year, a certain group of people had a huge Pesach seder and I assumed that they would do that again this year. I found out that I am now uninvited, as are the rest of the young Messianic Jewish people in San Francisco. It's lame. I understand that they have specific people invited for evangelism and education. But I was under the impression that this place was a place for growth. Not exclusivity. Here is my perspective: I am more upset that I am alone, than I am that I was uninvited.
I am upset and I am depressed.
I am angry.
I am in love with someone and because I am scared of vulnerability, I haven't said anything.
I am poor. But, let's be real, I have more money that most of the world.
I have to make the job decision and I don't want to hurt people.
I have research to finish and outlines to write.
ugh. in a rut.
On a happier note: I got my second pair of TOMS shoes and my family's birthday box today!!
4 comments:
I love how your stuff is so candid. but as far as the job thing i think God will bless either choice you make and maybe the whole dilemma is him teaching you not to care so much about letting people down.. maybe...
but im sorry you feel alone =[
and i hope you can break out of your funk. maybe you just need to go bowling and buy some half and half with a check...
Hey love,
I hope Passover goes well. At least you have Hannah there :)
And the job thing will work out. I know know know it will and whatever decision you make will be the right one for Malka in this wonderful season of life.
What color of Toms did you get? Also did you get the bday package Tofer and I sent? It may have gone to your old address now that I think about it....
Natalie and Kyle Keys,
You two are gems. I am serious. Thanks for sharing your wisdom- I feel like I write just so you two will give me your two-sense. I love you both very, very much!!
Malka :)
Well now I can break the ice and tell you that I am in love with you.
Kidding :) Well, I do love you, just not in that way. hehe.
What I like about you is that you are still able to keep a perspective even on days like this.
And we ALL have days like this. What I like about bad days is the next day is almost always guaranteed to be better. That's what I remind myself :)
"Sorrow lasts for the night, but joy comes in the morning"
...from one of those psalms, can't remember which one. haha.
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