Day 4

When missionaries abroad come back to the States for furlough, or whatever, they are prepared. It's called debrief. They are taught to remember that the home they are returning to is the same, and will bring shock because the individual has changed quite drastically.

Mothers are prepared for a little something called postpartum depression. The anticipation of a child, prepping the room, prepping your heart, etc... Then you bring home the bundle of joy and it cries. It needs you. You are objectified by a thing that cannot speak nor can it talk. And you don't want to feed it. You don't want to nourish your own body, etc...

So here's my question: why doesn't anyone tell you about post-graduation blues? It's a real thing. And it sucks.

I've applied to two jobs this week. I made it out of the house to visit one friend. I went shopping. And I've thought about getting another tattoo. I make breakfast, but refuse to do the dishes. I take the dog (housesitting) on walks, but it's mostly because he gives me the saddest looks.

I am bored. I am sooo bored. I am ugly and frustrated. I want to move. I want to travel. I want to want to clean and be pretty. This is going to be a hard summer...